Hank, the office boss, worried that his employees didn’t give him enough respect. Pondering what could be done about the situation, he settled upon an idea guaranteed to work.
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the garage, and asked him, “Daddy, what’s sex?”
The father was taken aback, but he decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to explain everything about the birds and the bees, boys and girls, and even conception.
One time during the off season, an umpire in a softball league in Colorado got sopped by a cop for speeding. He pled for mercy, explained that he was a very safe driver, and told the cop why he absolutely had to be in such a hurry. The officer didn’t buy it. “Tell it to the judge,” he said as he handed the umpire a ticket.