Making deals with God never works because He already owns the stuff we’re offering Him.
An elderly – and very wise – man finally retired and bought a home in a neighborhood near a junior high school. Since it was summer, he spent the first few weeks of retirement in quiet contentment.
But then school resumed…and middle school kids began canvassing the neighborhood.
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Once upon a time, the shop belonging to an astute merchant named Salem, and all the carpets in it, were burnt in a fire. Salem was left with nothing but his house, and since he was a trader he decided to sell it. With the money he would be able to buy a new shop and more carpets.