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Lowell, Oakville’s official town drunk, was having a particularly good time down at the Blues and Brews Tavern one Saturday night. When the bar finally closed, Lowell was so inebriated he couldn’t drive, so he stumbled out of the bar and set out for home in a drunken stupor.
But he didn’t make it; instead, he collapsed in a ditch near River Road Baptist Church.
When he finally awoke, it was to the sound of singing. The congregation was having their quarterly outdoor baptism service on the river bank that morning. One by one, a line of people were walking down into the water to be baptized. Still feeling the effects of the alcohol, Lowell stepped in line behind them.
When it was his turn, Lowell staggered down into the water. “Son, are you ready to find Jesus?” asked the pastor.
Lowell nodded his head as best he could, and then the pastor dipped him beneath the water. When Lowell came up, the pastor asked him, “Did you find Jesus?”
Almost embarrassed, Lowell muttered, “No.”
The pastor quickly dunked him again, this time for a bit longer. When Lowell came up, he was coughing. The pastor repeated his question, “Did you find Jesus, boy?”
Again, Lowell indicated that he hadn’t.
The pastor immediately snatched him back beneath the waters. This time, the pastor shook him and held him under until there were no more bubbles. Finally, the old drunk was brought back up gasping for air. The pastor got really close to Lowell’s face and asked him once more, “Did you find Jesus, son?”
Lowell tossed up his hands and shouted, “No! Are ya’ll sure this is where He fell in?”
Lowell might have been the town drunk, but at least he knew you can’t find Jesus by doing something religious.
Topics Illustrated Include:
Alcohol
Baptism
Baptist
Church
Drinking
Misunderstanding
Pastor
Salvation
Self-Control
Self-Discipline
Works
(Resource cataloged by David R Smith)
