Here’s the understatement of the century: men and women are different. The vast differences between the genders will either make a person laugh…or cry.
There’s nothing we can do to change things…so we might as well get a laugh out of our reality.
When it comes to names…
Laura, Kate, and Sarah will go out for lunch…and call each other Laura, Kate, and you guessed it, Sarah.
Mike, Dave and John will go out for lunch…and call each other Fat Boy, Skunk Breath, and Peabody.
When it comes to paying for lunch…
Mike, Dave and John will each throw in 20 bucks, even though the entire tab is a mere $32. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
Laura, Kate, and Sarah will get their bill…and break out pocket calculators.
When it comes to purchases…
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need. It’s called a sale.
When it comes to bathrooms…
The average man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap, towel.
The average woman has 337 items, only 6 of which can be identified by a man.
When it comes to arguments…
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
When it comes to achievement…
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
When it comes to marriage…
A woman marries a man hoping he will change. She’s disappointed.
A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change. Likewise, he’s disappointed.
When it comes to offspring…
A woman knows all about her children…dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes, dreams….
A man is vaguely aware of short people living in the house.
Topics Illustrated Include:
(Resource cataloged by David R Smith)