Supposedly…after flights, airline pilots fill out a form which tells technicians about any problems encountered with the aircraft during flight. The technicians’ job is to correct the problem(s) identified on the form, document the completed repairs on the same form, and then submit the form for review.
We’ve all flown enough times to know that the key word in that paragraph is “supposedly.”
Regardless, here are a few funny examples of maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the “solutions” recorded by flight technicians.
PILOT: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
TECHS: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
PILOT: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
TECHS: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
PILOT: Something loose in cockpit.
TECHS: Something tightened in cockpit.
PILOT: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
TECHS: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
PILOT: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
TECHS: Evidence removed.
PILOT: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
TECHS: That’s what friction locks are for.
PILOT: I.F.F. inoperative in OFF position.
TECHS: I.F.F. always inoperative in OFF position.
PILOT: Suspected crack in windshield.
TECHS: Suspect you’re right.
PILOT: Number 3 engine missing.
TECHS: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
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(Resource cataloged by David R Smith)